Falling into the Future

Is there ever a time in a person's life where they decide without any type of doubt in their mind that it's the right time to leave something or someone behind? Does this person have to have shed their vested interest in something else or someone else, before they leave that particular thing or person that they are currently have, behind? First feelings that overcome you is the overwhelming knot in your stomach that forms and makes a person feel like they are carrying a 50 lbs backpack of everything they own right on the front of their chest. One could argue that this would be the unavoidable anxiety that comes with separation. It is the routine that people become accustomed to and not the the actual object of their affections. Most people are afraid to leave the comfort of what they already know to be true and venture into the unknown. An unknown that is surely full of uncertainty and quite potentially of failure. However fear of failure should not be cradled and catered to because it would mean something final, no. There are plenty of things that we as humans have experienced in our lives that have lead to failures, but have also help us grow. When a baby learns to walk, that baby will fall a fair amount of times before it is able to walk steadily without faultering. Does this baby fear walking because it may fall? No, this child scrambles right back up and steps out boldly in an attempt to venture into the unknown. This child has not known the complexities of the world or the good/bad aspects of what this world could give back to them, but this baby does know that if they are going to get anywhere faster and better than they've been getting; that the risk of learning to walk outweighs the risk of falling three fold. What an amazing desire for the future we should keep with us throughout our lifetimes, as we did when we were childre, and learn more about how the world works. Do not be fearful of what is in the unknown, but know this: even if you fall 1,000 times or more, that you will one day step out boldly without faultering. The only thing left for you to do, is to take that first step into your future.

Details..

When it comes down to it, in the end, it's always the smallest details that you remember the most. Your thoughts gravitate towards them. All your energy is directed on this one moment and you become so focused in on it, that it's as if you're watching yourself relive this particular moment in time. You can hear the voices of the people clear as if they were repeating you a phrase or conversation, feel the feelings as strong as they were the moment you felt them; taste the words that you said, as your tongue hits the roof of your mouth as you're saying the words back to yourself now. Sometimes, the inner thought is so real, that it's as if you have returned to the past from the future and are merely a visitor witnessing events of days past. Your have become the audience watching and experiencing everything along side this person that was once the former emotional version of yourself. Knowing what will happen, but hoping that there would be a different resolution, even now. The memory ends, and you are assessing the situation with the same questions about what the future would have held if only you had made a different choice or said something else. You are left with nothing, but an unusual feeling inside you, akin to being strapped in and waiting at the top of a roller coaster knowing that it will come screaming down the track, but unsure of when that moment will happen; and then suddenly there you go.. The feeling in the pit of your stomach, as you feel your body falling, and every emotional angst that has manifested has suddenly jumped into your stomach all in one moment, and then rises up through your heart. You feel the pain slash through the front of your chest like a cheese grater, and you take a deep breath to try and expel some of this overwhelming feeling. When you finally breathe out, there is a slight relief, but you remember that there was a time in your life when you were not the person you are today, and it almost makes you regret the decision you made; and maybe for a minute you do. As you're breathing in and out regularly again, you make it a point to rationalize the moment that you are in now. Now, is how and where you are, and from here is what will make up those detailed memories that you will choose to relive in the future. Welcome to your life, and be sure to make those details count!